Reflections on Love: LET THEM.

I have “let it be” tattooed on my skin.
I got it young, thinking I understood.
Thinking I already knew how to surrender.
But life has a way of testing what you think you know.

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Turns out, your soul can know something deeply—while your coping mechanisms, your survival strategies, your nervous system… still panic at the idea of letting go.

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So I held on.
To people.
To almosts.
To potential.
To the idea that if I just gave a little more, loved a little better, bent a little further… everything would work out.

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I confused love with endurance.
I mistook loyalty for self-abandonment.

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But sometimes, the greatest lessons come through the worst pain.

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For me, clarity came through heartbreak, betrayal, therapy, late nights & early mornings with pen and paper.

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So this is what I choose to live by today:

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The other doesn’t prioritize you?
Let them.

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The other says they're unsure, not ready, too busy.
Let them.

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The other forgets, is vague, or inconsistent.
Let them.

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The other wants to party hard, use stimulants, and keep busy to escape uncomfortable feelings or avoid facing the deeper parts of themselves.
Let them.

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Let them show you who they are when you stop trying to manage their part of the story.

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Worth mentioning, though, this part isn't necessarily new to me.
I always gave my partners a lot of space and freedom.
But what I didn’t do (enough) was act on what their behavior was showing me.

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You need to give people space to be themselves—to show who they really are when they’re free. But don't forget to pause and decide: Is this what you want to build your heart on?

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So my advice to the woman or man who’s exhausted from trying to be enough:

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Let them. Always.

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Ask yourself: What does it say about the connection… if the moment you release control, it falls apart?

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That’s not something to fear.
That’s something to thank.

When someone shows you their truth (not just tells you!)—believe it. Embrace it. Don’t try to change them, because sooner or later you’ll find out you can’t.

It gives you freedom.
It gives you a faster choice.

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No more waiting.
No more guessing.
No more holding on to a version of them that only lives in your hopes.

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Let them go quiet.
Let them walk away.
Let them wrap their actions in excuses.
Let them twist the story until they look like the wounded or brave one.
If that’s what they need to sleep at night, let them have it.

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It will hurt—yes.
But it will also free you.
Free you to build from truth.
Free you to come back to your center.
Free you to redirect all that energy—not on fixing others, but on creating a life that feels like yours.

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Detachment isn’t cold.
For those who love hard, it’s holy.
It’s a homecoming.

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You don’t have to perform to be loved.
You don’t have to lose yourself to belong.
You don’t have to convince anyone to stay.

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You get to choose you.

And the moment you do—everything begins to change.